A good friend is anticipating the eminent arrival of her newest baby girl – her third. She reminded me via text that she would soon be “joining me” in the family of 5 category. So this one’s for her.
Remember when you bring home your second baby, and you can’t figure out how to do ANYTHING? You can’t figure out how to feed both of them. Changing a diaper seems like you should have crazy incredible stretching arms. You are mortified when the baby cries for a couple minutes because the oldest had a pressing concern. You think vaguely that you may be done having kids. Or at least, you would think that if you weren’t too sleep deprived.
Going from 2 to 3 is nothing like that. Adding a third is like bringing your heart all the way home. It’s like clicking together that last piece in the puzzle – the one right in the middle. All the foundations have been laid, and then this crowning beauty blesses you. It’s like having a three-tiered cake (your marriage), then the icing (the first two), then this lovely cake-topper (the third).
People expect you to have 2. That’s the American way. You don’t want to have an only child because they’ll want a playmate (or otherwise be all weird like me!). But having more than two? That’s just greedy. And you know what? It is. And it feels awesome. You do it because you CAN. Because you WANT to. Because they are fresh and perfect every time.
Your heart expands again. Sure, your life is busy. There are definitely times when they are all crying, all needy, all THERE in your face. But hey, you don’t pee with the door closed anyway, do you? You’re already so used to being woken by a sweet little body crawling in next to you in bed. You are already in the “trenches” of motherhood. It can’t get worse. But it can get better.
When you birth your first baby, your body knows what it’s doing. It believes in itself. When you birth the second, your mind starts to catch on. By the third, you know that you know you got this. It’s what those muscles were made for. You aren’t afraid anymore. You cannot wait to peer into those inky dark eyes that search for your face. You can’t wait to curl around that tiny little form and watch it sleep. (You will forget how MUCH they sleep when they’re that little and become mildly concerned something is wrong with them. Stop. Enjoy.)
Soak it up. Revel in the fullness your heart will feel. Drink up the completeness. You have been called, and you were not found lacking.